animals are awesome (video) Hd

Read More

WINDOW SHOPPERS

Dear my fellow windowshopers,
a few shopping malls are less friendly. there is only one entry and one exit. yes one exit through the cashiers desk so that you will arrange line up to the till so that you will shy off and beat chest and buy anything even like an handkerchief or lollipop in the name of getting out.
The other day a mzungu bought a painting worth 5000sh from tuskeys and 10 metres ahead of me, I saw him throw it into a dust bin and I laughed heart heart. so we are many. then I also threw the kerchief I bought and started chewing the nyef nyef I had just bought so that I could swallow with the bitterness I had just bought. That reminds me another day when I entered muthurwa to see see clothes then I got stuck in a stall. I mean stuck like in mud, but worse I got stuck between hundreds of clothers and every one of them wanted me to buy. I then realized that there was no way out I had to purchase my freedom again! but I had 200sh in pocket and head telled me 100 for fare and 100 for watching man u vs Chelsea. I slapped my head to restart my memory and voila! of cause I am dumb ... I mean I shoul be. so I stared at them as they tried all sorts of sign language and I was pinching myself small small to prevent me from laughing and to remind me that I am "dumb" , only for me to realize that they wont let go and they could still probably rob me off the few monies I had with me!. so I pointed at a pile of flabbers and like deaf do, buuurkka bee, een een and showing ten fingers for size ten. one quickly removed a polythene bag and tied for me a pair of brown flabbers the I was free at last. see how simple to detach yourself? then let me teach you, it is nothing personal, just buy anything from one of them even flabbers that you don't need and the leader be like "get your dirty booties off my customer" then you are free to talk bad to niggas around you and that is exactly what i badly intended to do untill I realized I was "dumb" .
Then I lost myself with hand in pocket massaging my humble wallet and there there, me until stadi where things are a little safe and I peeped into my purchase that I exchanged for myself and alas! if you have never seen of mosses...!! . there was a red, and a blue flabbers in the bag! in a glance, I first thought they sold me two pairs instead of one but a closer inspection revealed that it was one pair and worse they belonged to one foot ! oooh Abraham! even what wetangula bought in china is of up! and I don't bame him now.
My Sugar was starting to climb now. I tored the polythene and threw the contents into railways houses . meanwhile, an old man was watching closer then he said " why are you throwing them!?" and I was like "no I am not, I just liberated them." " why?" "because they saved my amino acids nigger!" he looked puzzled but all in all I enter the nearest joint for a cold drink to cool the alarming body temperature and remove feelings that were slowly catching my head.

by ws Kosgei (window shopper)

Read More

Just for fun

It was on 27th when the infamous toothache caused by sensitivity to cold or hot food stuffs caught me with surprise that i thought i should put an end to it for once and for all. A friend of mine gave me a helping hand by suggesting i should go yo the referral hospital for refilling. According to the directions  he gave me, i was supposed to go upstairs second floor,take a left turn and go straight and i was supposed to come to a sign board "the dental care unit".

I was proceeding well with my tracks according to the directions i was given when as if from nowhere two beautiful ladies appeared and i was busy observing them and i was about to comment   about their traits when suddenly  one of them asked the other for directions to the dental unit."aah!, i will take you there" replied the other .quickly, i thought i could parasitise on them so that apart from following them to my destination, i was also looking around  the place just in case i was to come by another time. I was in the act of looking around when i saw dental care unit.my memory flashed so fast that without taking another look, i realized that i was at the dentist's door.

I was about to alert my hosts about their map failure but then i decided not to after all it was none of my business and who cares any way?. As i got into the office, i got a strange feeling and i was about to retreat but i beat my chest. after all i am a man-a warrior for this matter. I quickly inspected the area and wondered why there was no dentists chair, but well chairs instead. people acted a bit more crazy than insane, i thought.then at another end, several men where struggling tooth to nail to fix a youthful man on a chair while he was struggling to get on his feet at one point, they slapped him on the cheeks and he returned with fierce kicks. they finally managed to make him sit  and they even tied him fast to his seat.

"What a brutality!", i wondered. I thought i should get the hell out of  the place so that maybe i could inquire from the customer service desk i had earlier spotted. I was very terrified and i was retreating trembling  badly that someone noticed me and he shouted " Ndio hiyo ingine kamata !". I was terrified and stood rooted. for one time, i realized things where not right at all .I retreated quickly and when i was  out, i took a glimpse back and something  on the note on the door attracted my attention. It was inscribed in capital letters (THE MENTAL CARE UNIT)!. I was scared i immediately realized that by my trembling, they thought that i was another mentally challenged victim trying to escape medication!. I hastened my steps so as to escape my pursuers .

when i was at a safe distance, i breathed heavily, the thought of seeing a dentist had even escaped my mind. my teeth even felt much better. I took another direction and headed for Eldoret town. all i needed  was a chilling cold drink to take away the alarming body temperature and fear that gripped me tightly," how could i have explained myself that i am not crazy?" kisang had told me most crazy fellows are PHD (permanent head damage) holders!. i fkn hate this day.

Read More